Letting Go of My Perfectionism on the Yoga Mat

I have been a perfectionist all my life. In elementary school, I would erase holes in my paper trying to get my handwriting just right. In high school and college, I’d rewrite notes and essays until they looked immaculate. And throughout my career, I have continued to find myself caught in that familiar cycle of “it’s not good enough yet.”

Yesterday, this perfectionism extended its ugly arm to my yoga mat. Not in whether my downward dog was held just right or the number of seconds I could hold the tree pose, but in a work mistake that I knew I couldn’t fix until class was over.

Here’s what happened. Just five minutes before the start of class, I was doing a final check of emails in the ladies’ locker room when I saw a message that made my stomach drop. Someone had tried to click on a survey link I had shared on social media and wanted to let me know that it didn’t work. (Side note: Letting someone know when this happens is a lovely and generous thing to do – it really does take a village).

Now, back to our story.

Immediate panic mode set in. My face flushed hot with embarrassment. And I’m pretty sure I muttered a few expletives.

The survey link I had carefully crafted and proudly shared across multiple social platforms that morning – LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram – was not set up to accept responses. Not just slightly problematic, but completely non-functional. And it had been sitting there, broadcasting my mistake to my professional network FOR THE PAST 24 HOURS.

Not only that, but I wasn’t entirely sure how to fix that from my phone.

As a perfectionist and an introvert who carefully considers every public communication, this felt like a double failure.

I frantically clicked into my account to try and fix it, but the class was starting in minutes. I knew I needed to make a choice: be late to class trying to fix this “emergency,” or roll out my mat and deal with it later.

With more than just a little reluctance, I put my phone away and walked into the studio.

For the next hour, while I was supposed to be focusing on my breath and being present in my body, my mind was spinning with perfectionist thoughts:

“How many people saw it? How many people clicked it and found it broken?”

“I should have tested it one more time before posting.”

“I’m missing out on connecting with new people through this survey – what a waste of time, not to mention a business failure!”

There I was, in child’s pose, catastrophizing about a broken link while my yoga teacher spoke about letting go and accepting imperfection. The irony wasn’t lost on me.

About halfway through class, as we moved into a particularly challenging balance pose, my teacher said something that finally broke through my spiral: “Notice where you’re gripping too tightly, where you’re trying too hard to get it just right. Can you soften there?”

It was exactly what I needed to hear.

The Introvert-Perfectionism Connection

If you’re an introvert like me, you might recognize this pattern. Many of us are prone to perfectionism, and there are good reasons for this connection:

1. We process deeply before sharing: Unlike our extraverted colleagues who may think out loud and refine their ideas through external processing, we introverts tend to process internally first. We don’t want to share until things are “just right.”
2. We hate drawing unwanted attention: Making a mistake feels especially uncomfortable for introverts because it can draw the very spotlight we typically try to avoid.
3. We value quality over quantity: Many introverts prefer meaningful, thoughtful contributions over frequent ones, which can lead to setting impossibly high standards for ourselves.

As I breathed into that balance pose, I realized that my perfectionism wasn’t serving me. It was keeping me mentally absent from my yoga practice. It was creating unnecessary stress. And most importantly, it wasn’t actually solving the problem – it was just making me feel worse about myself.

The Appreciative Approach to Perfectionism

Working with clients through an Appreciative Coaching lens has taught me that moving forward often means shifting our focus from what’s wrong to what’s possible. With perfectionism, this means reframing how we view mistakes and imperfections.

Here are some shifts that have helped me and my introverted clients release the grip of perfectionism:

1. From “failure” to “feedback”: That broken link wasn’t a catastrophic failure – it was useful feedback. It showed me a gap in my process (testing links before sharing) and an opportunity to improve.
2. From “perfect” to “progress”: What if we celebrated progress instead of demanding perfection? My survey wasn’t perfect, but it represented progress toward gathering important information.
3. From “what’s wrong” to “what’s strong”: Instead of fixating exclusively on the error, I could have acknowledged what was working well – the thoughtful intent of the survey, the clear purpose, the professional design.
4. From “hiding mistakes” to “modeling humanity”: What if our willingness to acknowledge imperfection actually makes us more relatable leaders? (Hint: it does!)

By the time I rolled up my mat, I had gained some perspective. I went home, fixed the link, decided to write this blog post about the experience (the lemonade from those lemons), and moved on. And guess what? Nobody seemed to care nearly as much as I did. The world didn’t end. My professional reputation remained intact.

Your Turn: Softening Where You Grip Too Tightly

Where in your professional life are you gripping too tightly to perfectionism? Where might you benefit from softening that grip?

Here’s a simple practice I’ve started using that might help you too:

1. Notice the perfectionist thought (“I made a mistake and it’s terrible!”)
2. Take a breath and create space between the thought and your reaction
3. Ask yourself: “Is this perfectionism serving me right now, or limiting me?”
4. Choose a new thought that acknowledges both reality and possibility (“I made a mistake. I can fix it. And I’m still good at what I do.”)

Remember, your introversion and your careful, thoughtful approach to work are strengths – real superpowers in leadership. But perfectionism? That’s just a habit, and one we can gently release when it no longer serves us. 

As my yoga teacher reminded me, sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is notice where we’re gripping too tightly – and choose to soften.

Where will you choose to soften today?

Are you an introvert looking to work, speak, and show up more confidently, so that you can get the recognition and rewards you deserve? Click here to learn how I can support you. Complete this one-question survey and enter to win a free one-hour coaching session. One entry per person, please.